Photos: Canada geese parading the promenade, low tide at East Beach, the blossoms on Columbia Ave., my favourite piece of graffiti, and Oxford Street hill: where as teenagers we used to dare each other to speed down in neutral as far as we could before hitting the brakes. If you were brave enough you could really catch some air on that last hump and your friends on the backseat would hit their heads on the car ceiling (I didn’t say it was smart).
Every time I walk the promenade along Marine Drive, stand in line at Safeway or order a latté at a café anywhere in White Rock (Vancouver too for that matter) – I’m reminded of just how special a place this is.
Perfect strangers say hello and good morning, almost everyone makes eye contact and smiles, and even though we stand the same distance apart from each other that we do anywhere else – somehow people just feel closer. If you talk to the person standing next to you in line, no one will think you crazy, drunk or American.* The grocery clerk means it when she smiles and the chit chat is as close to sincere as chit chat can get. The point is: people talk to each other here. Neighbours too (imagine!). I know I probably idealize things (as you do when you’re far away from home) but all else aside – it is such an easy place to be and an even easier place to come home to each year.
*As is often the case in Denmark (where you show your politeness instead by respecting another person’s right to be left alone – which has plus sides of its own sometimes).
I am unexpectedly home alone this long weekend. And I am a bit out of practice with what to do with all this… time. It’s an opportunity to catch up on so many things. It’s an opportunity to just be me (who?) yes me. I’m not sure I even remember how to do nothing. So I probably won’t do nothing, because who am I kidding, I can’t do nothing.
I’ll check a few things off, meet some friends, go outside, find some nature, go for a run, read something just for fun and not for work or parenting, clean out my closet, research a bit, catch up on some writing, talk to friends back home for so long that my ear turns red from the heat of the phone, drink some too-expensive coffee some place fancy and probably even go to the movies – because it has been way too long since I’ve been to the cinema. The list is long. I couldn’t even fit “relax” at the bottom before I ran out of page. Although with the list done, I can officially relax because I haven’t forgotten anything – so maybe I don’t need to add it to the list anyways (although I would have liked to be able to cross another thing off). I have list issues, I know. I’d deal with it but then I’d have to add that to the list.
In Denmark it is. I could have sworn that sidewalk café tables were packed at any given time with blonds in sunglasses around about this time last year. This year, we have minus temperatures, ice in the ocean, snow on the beach and bright white flakes swirling around under the street lamp at night – taunting us with the possibility of waking up to another centimeter or two – just when we’d thought we’d seen the last of it. On the plus side, it is a pretty contrast to the usual winter grey.
Saturday morning was spent blissfully confined to a hair-dresser’s chair reading magazines – those three hours every few months are pure gold. In the afternoon (after I’d washed the way excessive styling goop out of my hair ) Thor and I met up with family in cozy Christianshavn for coffee, a walk and a few sentimental stories. They are good for the soul, afternoons like that.
On Sunday we (and 5000 other people hoping to entertain their kids over the Easter holidays) thought going to the new aquarium in Kastrup would be a good idea – so we made our way out there only to turn around again when we saw the hour and a half line up. We’ll wait and go another day. Instead, we treated ourselves to a little lunch at an old favourite next door (Kystens Perle) and a fresh walk along Amager Strandpark in the glorious sunshine.
The boys stayed home in the evening and I took a couple of hours out to attend a meditation and talk by Salman Ahmad (of Brahma Kumaris) in Frederiksberg. His perspectives on personal development are definitely challenging, but you know something’s hit a chord when your inner sceptic protests with what you know is not a valid argument: it’s too difficult. I know I’ll be mulling over some of his ideas and techniques in the days ahead. I went home from there feeling an all over calm and could only answer with a smile when Jan asked me how my ‘Scientology’ meeting had gone.
Photo: Lego Duplo app with three little (very popular) 1 minute films
Ironic maybe, that a mother (pre)set to haul her boy outside and away from computer games in favour of good old fashioned fresh air – should be so apt to letting her one year old swipe, tap and pinch his way through iPad app after iPad app. We bought our (to be shamefully accurate) electronic babysitter with the sole intention of using it to FaceTime with Thor’s Mormor in Canada – and while we do that – admittedly less than I’d hoped (both Thor and his Mormor are incredibly busy people) – it does get used to buy us a little time here and there – every minute of which adds up I’m sure – to more than we’d call ideal. It’s buys me 10 minutes in the morning to shower, make coffee and brush my teeth. It buys Jan 10 minutes to finish up some client work. It might buy us a little time to make dinner. And it might also buy us some patience at the grocery store or in the car. I admit it. It buys me time. But at what cost? It’s something I think about.
That said – our (or to be more accurate, Thor’s) iPad does have some redeeming qualities – among which are a number of apps we can (with a margin of relief) call educational entertainment. Here are a few of those getting the most tap time at the moment:
SoundTchLite* (pictures of animals and correlating sounds)
Lego Duplo
Toca Monsters
Talking Pierre (Parrot)
English Language
BalloonSchool
Color Drops
Fisher Price – Shapes and Colours
Fisher Price – Where’s Puppy
Fisher Price – Let’s Count
Fisher Price – Animals
Danish Language
Cirkeline
Rasmus Klump
Ordspillet
All of the above apps are free (what can I say, we’re cheap) – but it might be worth the buck (or a few kroner) to pay for the full version and avoid the clickable ads.
Aside from FaceTime, the best app in Thor’s world right now is DMI (the Danish weather app). Hands down. Our little meteorologist can tap his way through precipitation charts and wind forecasts like no other man can.
Related Links
A guide to 8 fun apps for kids ages 3-8 Vores Børn, In Danish (none of which we’ve tried yet but if you have I’d love to hear about them – and any others that have been a hit with your own iPad monster)
Had five days off with Thor (three days last week plus the weekend) – each very good days and all well spent. We walked, we explored, we visited friends and we got our hair cut. There is something about slowing down, playing with your kid in the sandbox – just you and him, nothing else scheduled for the day and just being allowed to be present for so many hours in a row that feeds your soul like nothing else.
There has been a great deal of upheaval and being turned inside out this past year. There are still some big question marks looming but finally, finally, I feel like I am about to land solidly again. Not now – but soon. Not tomorrow – but this year. And that is enough – to breathe and to know that things will be fine, one way or another.
The weekend is here and Thor and I will be cozied up, doing our best to get over the colds we’ve been fighting the last little while. There is something to be said for a weekend with no crazy plans- just a couple of low key visits, a workout or two and very a long walk in the nature reserve. We’ll watch the candles flicker and glow, settle in to a good movie maybe and feel tucked in, safe from the chill outside. When Thor is asleep there are projects to be looked at, that much is always the case, but otherwise we’ll take the hours as they come… quietly.
Sometimes you read a book that just fits. It fits where you are in your life and speaks to you like an old friend who knows how important it is that you are not alone with what you carry in your heart. You needed these words. They are not answers, just company. And that is enough right now.
I’ve just finished reading Chris MacDonald’s Du er ikke alene. Chris is a well known speaker and coach here in Denmark (known among other things for his Strong Body Strong Mind concept) and is a fellow West Coast expat (originally from Seattle). I never ever read biography genre books, but having seen his film Fuck Cancer, I had to read on. I watched that film twice – once before my dad was diagnosed and once after. The first time I saw it I was moved – here was this man who’d always idolized his father now battling to save him from cancer. I would never dream that the second time I saw it I’d be in a similar situation and desperate for an answer to how I could buy my father more time too. I lost my dad 4 weeks later – there was nothing we could do except be there with him and tell him how much we loved him. I still feel that desperation, even after the fact.
The book is based on Chris’ relationship with his dad, in childhood and in their last year together. He’s vulnerable and honest about the agony and beauty of a long good bye – every touching, horrifying, turn-you-inside-out part of it. It was a tough read at times, I had to fight back tears when I read it on the train to/from work. It made my heart ache for missing Dad and for having had him ripped away from us. At times I envied the time Chris and Cal had to talk about all the things that they did – even though I loved reading them. At other times their conversations made me smile, and reminded me of so many I’d had with Dad in the space of my lifetime – and I was grateful for the reminder. It was exactly what I needed.
I’m not sure how it’s come to be winter already. My heart will be stuck in spring 2012 for a long time yet and I need to remind myself daily: it isn’t any great compliment to anyone to stay stuck.
Quiet weekend. A long cold bike ride yesterday to an artists loft and design sale – with warm apple gløgg and homemade cakes. Thor fell asleep in the bike seat on the way home, completely knocked out by the day and a small cold he’s fighting. We had similar planned for today but after a slow start this morning decided to cancel everything in favour of a quiet day and a chance for the boys (big and little) to catch up on some much needed sleep. We have a busy couple of weeks ahead before heading home. I’m not sure it’ll be Christmas this year (or that we even want it to be) but we’ll be home with family and friends and that is the very best place to be.
